"Is Teaching Really for Me?"

 

"Is Teaching Really for Me?"

Lately, I’ve been asking myself this question over and over again:
Is teaching really for me?

Fresh graduate pa lang ako. After years of sleepless nights, rushing lesson plans, final demo preps, and that unforgettable internship experience — finally, I made it. I survived college. I finished my degree in Education.

Pero ngayon, hindi ko pa muna ipu-pursue ang teaching journey ko.

And honestly, it hurts to even admit that. 

Mahal ko ang pagtuturo. Totoo 'yon.

During my internship, I discovered a kind of fulfillment I never felt anywhere else. Yung tipong kahit pagod ka, kahit uuwi ka ng bahay na halos wala nang energy, there's still that small part of you that smiles because you know... "I made a difference today."

I remember how students would ask questions, laugh at my jokes, and say “Thank you po, Ma’am” at the end of a lesson. It made all the effort worth it. Kahit kulang sa tulog, kahit kabado, kahit may mali, I kept going because I loved it.

Pero kahit gaano ko siya kamahal, I had to make a choice. 

Life is not a straight path. After graduation, I was excited — pero sabay din dumating yung reality. Financial needs. Responsibilities. Personal growth. Hindi madali.

I realized that right now, hindi ko pa kayang ibigay yung buong puso ko sa classroom. I want to try other things. I want to breathe. I want to know who I am outside the four walls of the school.

Hindi dahil iniwan ko ang pagtuturo — kundi dahil gusto ko balikan ito nang mas buo, mas handa, at mas matatag.

Even if I’m not teaching right now, I know it’s still a part of me. Kahit sa simpleng bagay — when I explain something to a friend, when I encourage someone younger than me, or when I remember the lessons I once taught — I still feel like a teacher.

Maybe I’m not wearing the title today, but I carry it with me, in how I think, how I speak, how I care.

This isn’t the end. It’s just a pause.
Pahinga lang. Hindi pagbitaw.

To those who are in the same season:

If you’re also a fresh graduate, confused, tired, or simply figuring things out — I see you.

You're not lost. You're not weak. You're just in a different chapter. And that's okay.

Sometimes, the strongest decisions come from choosing ourselves. And sometimes, we need to rest so we can return to the things we love — with more clarity, more passion, and a deeper purpose.

I still believe in teaching. I still believe in the calling.
But for now, I also believe in waiting, in healing, and in discovering.

One day, I’ll walk back into a classroom not just as someone who studied how to teach — but as someone who truly lived, who grew, and who’s finally ready to give all her heart.

Until then, I’ll hold on to this love quietly. And I’ll carry it with grace.